Not Again...

he was 10 and healthy and happy and oh so sweet. then, all of a sudden on Tuesday he was sick but still smiling and precious with a great Mom and Dad. he was diagnosed on Wednesday and had surgery and went to the floor...and then back to the PICU on Thanksgiving night because he was getting worse. Now, he was scared and very sick but still polite and kind, smiling up at us full of faith. we asked Mom to step out so we could intubate in an effort to help...we explained to our little man and he nodded. he knew he was growing tired and trusted us to help him. we were confident but we had no idea how sick he was, no idea at all. it was a shock when a few minutes later we were in serious trouble...we worked diligently for hours, in shock...this could NOT be happening. but it was. the room grew crowded with helpers but we knew by midnight and we worked in silence, unshed tears making throats raw, urgency making hearts race. I gathered the family into a conference room and stood with our attending while he told them of our struggle and our fears and we promised to keep trying and left them to return to the mortal struggle but within an hour...

NO! NO! NO!

the attending listened intently with his stethoscope for minutes while the crowded room held its collective breath. he looked up at me and I looked at the clock. we nodded and noted the exact time.

the charge nurse and the attending walk in silence down a hall that will not end toward a tearful and terrified family. They frantically search our faces for hope but we have none to give.

"I am so sorry..."

screams,
heartrending agonizing sobs,
catch mom and ease her to the floor
and quick,
catch Dad too and slide with him to the ground

kneel on the cold floor to offer comfort where none can be had

and struggle to be professional

seeking strength in the wise kind eyes of my attending

and seeing my agony reflected in his face.

We lost.

It wasn't our fault...we had no chance against the silent deadly invader that had probably been at work for years destroying this beautiful boy. But...he trusted me and I cannot forget his smile.

He was 10, happy, and oh so very sweet.

He went home for the holidays.

Thanksgiving...just a few of my favorite blessings...

The World's GREATEST Grandson!!!!

Seven INCREDIBLE Children

A brother who loves children and spoils mine and my sisters'!

sisters who are always there for me

FABULOUS sons-in-law who are PERFECT for my daughters!

the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the atonement, and the gift of Baptism




AND ABOVE ALL ELSE...

A Husband who is so Christlike....and who loves me in spite of my faults...and loves my family...and still makes my heart beat fast when he enters the room!!!

Here's hoping you and yours have a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy your blessings...

Patti's just for fun survey...

OK...I actually think I'm a little old for this particular survey and some things just don't apply but Patti had it on her blog and I am so happy she blogged again that I am going to do it to show her my support...and love...she is the most awesome 18 year old in the eternities...

Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
December 1, 1983

How do you know the last person you were in a car with?
I gave birth to them...

Where were you at 9:17 pm last night?
in the PICU trying to explain to a parent WHY his very hungry but just got through seizing daughter COULD NOT MUST NOT EAT!!!! and then standing on top of a helicopter pad in FREEZING COLD WEATHER waiting for a child that was gravely injured "reportedly"as an UNRESTRAINED sitting on grandma's lap in a motor vehicle with an intoxicated Mama driver...UGH!!!

Will you be up before 7am tomorrow?
I hope so, I'll be giving report at work...

You've won free gas for 5 years, now what?
go West go to Florida go to Raleigh go to NY go to DC go go go go go go......

Is it easy for someone to make you smile/laugh?
unless I am very hungry and tired (and then I am EVIL)

What's been different this year?
so much and then again, just life and that's the same...easy hard hurtful joyous challenging worth it...so worth it!!

When will your next kiss be?
when Pete wakes up

Have you ever cheated on a test in school?
Are you kidding? Seriously, I recheck CALCULATORS because I'm not so sure they are right but I KNOW my brain works! (sad but true!!)

Have you ever taken money from a collection plate?
Never even been tempted...and my Dad would have KILLED me

Do you curse often?
um...I NEVER (ok EXTREMELY RARELY) cursed before I was 30 but now it is my saddest trait and one I fight daily and do not understand because NONE of my family or friends curse...and I was brought up so much better!!!!

Do you plan on moving out within the next year or two?
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!

Where is your favorite person right now?
In bed asleep

When was the last time you talked to them?
last night

Would you like to put last night on repeat, and live it forever?
No No No No No No....

When was the last time you saw an ex?
I have NO IDEA...

Does anyone call you baby?
sometimes

Do you wear a lot of make up?
No but I like make-up...just why paint an ox????

If someone paid you $1,000 would you dance in the middle of Times Square?
Heck I'd do it for free and probably have....

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
absolutely and even third fourth fifth and so on...I sure need them!!!! and our Saviour did DIE to provide them so...

Have you ever dumped someone because they liked you too much?
Many many times...ask my sisters or my parents...until Pete, that's WHY I dumped everyone!

What was the reason behind the last time you cried?
I was thinking about Noah just last night and how thankful I am for my family

Have you ever taken/been in a picture and said "This is going on facebook!"
No, but I have said..This is going on my BLOG!!!

Is it cute when a guy/girl calls you baby?
No

Have you ever made anyone laugh when they were crying?
I usually just make them mad because I am so upset I say all the wrong things!

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
Occaisionally

Do you think someone has feelings for you?
I sure hoope so!!!!!!!

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
Not in a very long time but only because I have grown SMART enough to choose very mature, loving and TOLERANT friends...

Do you still have items that belong to your ex?
No!


Do you say sorry first?
I have to because I am ALWAYS saying dumb things I regret instantly

Would your parents be mad if you were in a relationship?
They'd be sick if I WASN'T

Are you a forgiving person?
Yes, I think I am.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2008?
Is anyone??

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a J, K, M, or D?
Probably

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
You bet I do!!!!

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
Sleep Church Sleep Sleep

Could you last an hour without talking?
I don't think so...not happily anyway

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
the exact same as it is now because I have my Daddy's eyes

Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Goodness...my kids I think

Do you talk to the person you fell the hardest for?
Every single day

Do you and your best friend have a song?
No...a musical person I am NOT (but I wish I was...)

You're stuck on an elevator with the person you've fallen the hardest for, what happens ?
Hallelujah!!! We get uninterrupted TALKING TIME!!!!!!!!

Has someone ever made a promise to you and broken it?
Probably but I can't think of one at the moment...must not have bothered me too much

Does anyone hate you?
That's a strong word...I hope not but wouldn't be surprised and like Patti, couldn't really care less!

Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?
My entire family and so many more....

Do you think your ex still likes you?
What a silly question...of course!

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Yes but not CLOSE friends if one of you is married...just against the plan!!

What is one fact about the last person who texted you?
She is the most giving person on this earth!

Last time you were on the phone & who with?
About 5 am with a surgeon

Has a boy put their arms around you in the past five days?
Connor does every single day!!!!

My Mama's prayers for us...

My sisters and I have the GREATEST mom!

Read about how she received answers to her prayers for us

http://www.grandmaard.blogspot.com/

under the title:

"The Three Wise Men"

Thanks Mama!!!

Just for you, Nicole!!

I love my friend Nicole. We are very very different in many ways...especially age, body type, religion, stage of life, etc. I was an older bossy knowitall married with a zillion kids nursing student and she was young, cool, single and BRILLIANT student in my first nursing clinical class. We became study partners and then friends and I just adore her. In many many ways she reminds me of my Heather. Anyway, we both work night shift at Richland but I'm in PICU and she's in L&D so we never see each other. She sent me this survey and I thought I'd put it on my blog...anyone who wants can do it too!

1. Do you like blue cheese? Love it!
2. Have you ever drank? Yes, but not in almost 3 decades!!!!
3. Do you own a gun? several
4. What flavor Kool Aid was your favorite? orange
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? never
6. What do you think of hot dogs? Love em...mustard,ketchup, chili and LOVE the ones from dirty greasy vendors in NYC!!! wish I had one right now!
7. Favorite Christmas movie? Miracle on 34th Street also Pete's favorite It's a Wonderful Life
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? OJ..Simply Orange or fresh squeezed!!!
9. Can you do push ups? hahahahahahahahaha..NO!
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Ninna's ring..never take it off.
11. Favorite hobby? I guess writing
12 . Do you have A.D.D.? probably..we didn't diagnose that when I was young but I fit the profile
13. What's your weight and height ? 5'41/2" 270 pounds...give or take
14. Middle name? LaNelle...it's a family tradition!
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? when to go to the beach for Thanksgiving, what we will do for Christmas this year, what to buy my Mom and Pete's mom for Christmas
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Water, Diet Coke, and orange juice
17. Current worry? Peter riding his motorcycle anytime but especially with a hurt knee.
18. Current hate right now? interfering and overbearing people (not me and not my family..well not this time anyway!!!heeheehee)
19. Favorite place to be? any Beach anywhere
20. How did you bring in the New Year? At a posh, black tie, incredibly fun wedding reception in the Hamptons in NY with almost all of my family! It was the greatest time EVER!!!
21. Where would you like to go? for New Year's eve? well Peter flies back into Charlotte on New Year's eve so probably home...but I would like to go to Virginia so my mother-in-law wouldn't have to drive all the way here!
22. Name three people who will complete this? who knows???? but I like reading others so...
23. Do you own slippers? yes, Connor gave me the COOLEST plush slippers for my birthday because he remembered that LAST YEAR at Christmas, I loved Heather's! What a great kid!
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? I forgot it's name...Jackie knows because she told me when I bought it...kinda pinkish purplish
25. Do you like sleeping on Satin sheets? NO!!!!
26. Can you whistle? yes but not in tune or anything
27. favorite color? RED
28. Would you be a pirate? No..illegal, mean, dirty, and never home, not my scene at all!
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I do not sing in the shower or anywhere else except Church and everyone thanks me for that tender mercy!!
30. Favorite girls name: Elizabeth...LaNelle...Heather...Patricia....Sarah Beth
31. Favorite boy's name: I hated the name Peter but now it is my FAVORITE along with Andrew Connor Kyle Steven and Kalib...I think Kalib just might be my favorite right now!!!
32.What's in your pocket right now? No pockets
33.Last thing that made you laugh? Connor
34. Best bed sheets as a child? NO CONTEST HERE...Ninna's hand starched, 1000 count linen sheets and they always felt and smelled soooooooo goooooood!!! I know my insomnia would be cured if I could slip between those ONE MORE TIME!!!!!
35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child? hahahaha Floyd smacked me in the head (absolutely by accident) with his golf club and DT was watching us and he just grabbed me and we went to the ER without a note to my mom and leaving a garage and laundry room floor splattered with blood...Grandma about DIED!!!! I was ok though...
36. Do you love where you live? yes and no. Love the country setting, pecan trees and the curb appeal and the wrap around front porchand screened in back porch...just not big enough for all of my family!!
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3 that work...none of them worth $100!!
38. Who is your loudest friend? I am my loudest friend....
39. How many dogs do you have? 0
40. Does someone have a crush on you? I doubt it!
41. What is your favorite book? after the scriptures...Celia Garth
42. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate toffee or snickers or dove or anything chocolate
43. Favorite Sports Team? CLEMSON TIGERS even though we stink this year...I love them!
44. What song do you want played at your funeral? I Believe in Christ

Shop Shop Shop Shop till you drop...

I love having girlfriends...we are so different and yet we just love each other without judging and it is soooo nice to have friends like that. We don't have to agree on everything, think the same thoughts or be afraid to say exactly what we think...and we can even say, "hey, you might want to rethink that" or "GIRL!!!! what were you thinking???" and we just laugh or tell each other to hush! or ignore them or do some thinking and change our actions...ok I am too tired to make sense but I had so much fun with Jackie and Lauralan on our impromptu shopping trip to Charleston and just had to say that because my last post was so silly!! I am glad they are there and glad we went and glad I found some great deals...and also glad to be home and now I'm going to try to sleep...wish me luck...it's becoming a huge problem for me!!

I can't believe I like to shop when for the 1st 40 years of my life, I hated it...you can teach old dogs new tricks...hmmm

This is not who I am...or so I thought...

Ok. this is really really sad. I'm serious. I have been thin and I have been obese and I have been in the middle. I like being thin but I am almost 50 and have 7 kids that I ADORE and a very happy and busy life and I just don't worry overmuch about appearance and I have NEVER EVER cried about my weight...Pete really does love me for who I am, I love me too...etc...but today I sobbed.

Maybe I have a virus or something because I know what real tragedy is and so I do not cry about silly trivial stuff...but I am silently weeping just writing this. Last year at this time I had lost almost 25 pounds (not that anyone could tell when you need to lose 120!!) and went on to lose more than 10% of my 270 pounds..37 pounds to be exact and I felt great but I gained it all back. every ounce.

And today I bought the BIGGEST size jeans that Lane Bryant (aka FAT LADY STORE) sells. The fat little cheerful clerk said, "Oh don't worry, we sell bigger, we just have to order them online but it only takes a day or two but maybe this size 8 will fit you (fat people obviously buy more if it seems like a smaller size...8 in Lane Bryant jeans = who knows what in real sizes...probably 26). Can I really be the BIGGEST person in Lexington SC???????? Apparantly so (sob sob)I guess my next stop is Omar the tent maker. why is that making me cry???

Art Class Today

I loved Connor's art project today (oil pastels) and just thought I'd share it!! This week's field trips include SC State museum, Koger Center for Suessical, and fun at the park!! (And I'm going SHOPPING!! Kids, get me your Christmas wish lists...). Have a great week!!

Quirky things about ME!!!

When Mary Beth tagged me, I made a smart alec comment on her blog (something like, I have no quirks, I am perfect...hahaha) but then someone...maybe Sister Wolfe...said these silly things might give insights about us to our posterity...hmmm..ok..I still think I'm more quirky than normal so should probably name my top ten normal habits (whatever normal is...) but here goes...

10. I always browse through magazines from the back cover to the front ...

9. I cannot reuse a towel..I know they are clean if you just dried off and hung it up but I just HATE doing that.

8. I am terrified of scary (horror movie type) music...even the duuh duuh duuh of impending horror makes me literally sick to my stomach and my heart race...if I wake up and hear scary music I cover my head and beg Pete to turn it off quick. (now I am shaking just typing that!!)

7. I love other types of adrenaline rush...high places, roller coasters, codes at work(but only when they end good!!)

6. Love animals, don't like pets.

5. I like to do math problems..of all kinds..they are like puzzles to me and if I am bored, I do sums in my head...weirdo...

4. When I set the table...I do not care WHAT we are eating (even if it's hot dogs and chips), I like to AT LEAST have one fork, a knife, a spoon and a folded napkin...don't always do it and we often use paper/plastic because I have withered over the years, but if I had my way, I would eat EVERY meal with real china, silverware and candles on the table. My mama STILL uses only cloth napkins so between her and Ninna..some things rubbed off...

3. I hate dish rags (probably because I leave them to get all yucky in the sink) but I go through tons and tons of paper towels..don't fuss at me you environmentalists...I did my part when I used cloth diapers!

2. I cringe when refined, respectable people (or anyone else) use the word "pee". It is "teetee" if you must!

1. My number one quirk..what really sends me into the world of bonafide weirdos is...I LOVE LOVE LOVE Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) and shopping all night at Tanger (they open at midnight you know) and into the morning...love being out in my Christmas attire, love the lines outside of Belk at 3 am (Floyd, Laurel, Kim, David, DT and DeeDee..you KNOW we had fun last year!) , love talking to strangers and just being full of Christmas Spirit and love the insaneness of it all. Even when I don't want and don't intend to buy the "hot ticket items"...I just have to be there and have been known to be penniless and bust through when the door opens and grab as many big sale stuff as I can and then wait until someone is sad that they didn't get what they wanted and hand it over...now THAT is FUN!!!! oh yeah, and the best part is my Daddy meets me for breakfast at Shoneys at about 8 am when I'm done!!

So there you go..just a taste of my quirks...ok LaNelle, Katie Bug, Kim, and Jean...you're it!!

Happy Halloween!

Kalib checking out the graveyard
Kalib waving to trick or treaters!!!  He is a friendly Bee!!
Sarah Beth and Connor...hard to believe they are twins!!!
The twins with Tia (a rainbow princess) one of their good friends from Primary and one of my Activity Day girls!!  they had fun at Trunk or Treat and then trick or treating with Grandma Barbara!

OK Beth...we used plain old store bought costumes this year...boring, I know, but easy and quick and the kids liked them!  Peter and Andrew were creative but I have no pictures (Peter was Michael Phelps and Andrew wore an E on his shirt and was Email (because he is a male...) thanks Lauren for that idea!).  Kalib was a precious Bumble Bee, Sarah Beth was the chick Gabriella Montez from High School Musical and Connor was the blue power ranger (Andrew was the white one once many years ago!).  I was a nurse because I worked Friday night....yuck!

 

Homeschool Fun

Connor on the Moon Walk.  With each step, he "flew" in the air!!!  He learned he weighs only 10 pounds on the moon because of gravity.
Andrew rode this in 6th grade but it took 20 minutes because he could BARELY reach the pedals...it took 30 seconds this time...the twins were too short to ride it.
Connor learning about gyroscopes on this bike..Sarah Beth actually rode a human gyroscope but I accidentally deleted the picture! :(
The Pumpkin Farm!
A Hayride...
Choosing our pumpkins.
UPSIDE DOWN AND REALLY HIGH!!!!
Dangling way up high...

Can you BELIEVE Sarah Beth, Connor, Pazlan, and Rylan (ages 5-8) rode these rides alone???? These are actual pictures..they are ON THOSE RIDES!!!!! and many many more!!!!!! NO FEAR!

We have had some very fun and educational field trips...it's amazing how the things we do everyday can be rich in educational opportunities when you are looking for them! See what we did in October and how we related the activities to school (just a few of MANY!!):

The SC State Fair
Science(simple machines/motion/force and CSI..scientific method)
Math (tickets x 5 adults + 1 child/counting money and change/estimating/sorting exhibits/how many people in line vs how many seats on ride = length of wait time)
Art (exhibits)

The Pumpkin Farm

this was SCVCS (school) sponsored and Andrew made it fun!

High School Musical 3

When you discuss the similarities and differences between High School Musical 1, 2, and 3, you are teaching Compare and Contrast Literature for Language Arts!!!!! 

Fort Discovery Science Museum in Augusta Georgia

This is an amazing place!!!  I went with Andrew's class in the 6th grade and we loved it so we took the twins...it is fabulous and so many of the exhibits reinforced what we were learning!

We will be going to the SC Aquarium, Discovery Place in Charlotte, and to Suessical (A broadway type production at Koger Center) in November!!!!  Woo Hoo for home based public school!!!